Family

My father –  rather, the man I called my father – passed away.  My husband went over for their weekly visit and there was no answer at the door or the phone.  When he opened the door to find him “sleeping” on the couch with an ashen face and cold to the touch, all his nightmares came true.  He is glad that I am not the one who opened that door but I know it was hard for him.

People ask if they can bring food — takethemameal.com — great invention.  People ask if there is anything they can do.  I have made those same gestures myself.

But really, what can anyone do?  You are sitting there in a daze and have to keep reminding yourself that you should really be doing something.  But when you pull yourself out of the daze to cancel the payments, the cable, the telephone, notify the landlord and regular things that need to be done..  everyone wants a copy of the death certificate.  You don’t get that for about 10 days.

What do I do for 10 days?  Life goes on but somehow I can’t really participate 100%.  I am really good at Scarlet O’Hara’s “I’ll think about it tomorrow”.   I am scatter brained and hope that I made sense to someone and that I don’t mess stuff up too bad.  I have re-read lots of books, nothing of substance because I just want to lose myself in a fantasy world.

Update your will.

Pre-plan your own funeral.

Hug your loved ones and don’t miss any opportunity to tell them that you love them.

Re-join the world, just a few hours at a time.

 

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